


Fine Is Not Good Enough

by biffes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Magnus Bane, First Time, Kissing, M/M, Top Alec Lightwood, porn with fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6526885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biffes/pseuds/biffes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec has a few firsts</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fine Is Not Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Post-episode 1x13

Alec put his phone down on the bedside table. _Message sent_. He wasn’t sure what prompted him to contact Magnus after all these weeks of radio silence. Maybe it was the idea of Jace not coming back finally setting in. Without him the Institute was subdued nowadays. It was just missions and more work and overly polite conversation. Izzy was down. Their parents refused to discuss Jace and his whereabouts with them, and generally avoided talking to Alec unless absolutely necessary. It got to the point where Alec was actually _glad_ to see Clary show up each day for training. It served as a distraction.

And Alec desperately needed a distraction. He knew he was in denial. He knew he was being unfair to Magnus who he hasn’t seen since the day of waking Jocelyn, but having Jace be taken from his life so abruptly was like an open wound that wouldn’t heal. Most of the time he could feel a faint mental presence where their parabatai connection used to be, but nothing strong enough to tell what Jace must be feeling and what he was doing. It was this deep absence inside him that he used as a reason why not call Magnus. He knew Magnus wasn’t exactly fond of Jace and most likely wouldn’t care about or understand Alec’s residual feelings for his parabatai. And anyway, Magnus had more important things then Alec and his endless emotional issues. Magnus didn’t deserve to be sidelined after all he’s done for them, yet Alec felt he couldn’t be who Magnus wanted him to be. He felt like his actions at his wedding were a fluke – a sudden burst of insanity he was half regretting. Well, not so much regretting, more like questioning it and being embarrassed over his public display in front of all those Shadowhunters.

But try as he might, he couldn’t quite forget it. That kiss shook him more than he cared to admit. His mind flashed back to it over and over again, when he was alone or during training, making his heart beat faster and his body get hot. Just the memory of that kiss made him flush even now, lying in his bed, exhausted after a long day. He remembered everything. The texture of Magnus’ lips, the feel of him against Alec’s own mouth, the heady feeling of the moment, how pliant Magnus went when Alec kissed him, the underlying electricity of their bodies touching, the feeling of trust Magnus put in him when letting him control the pace… Yes, even now it made Alec harden in his sweatpants. He hesitantly put a hand over himself, not rubbing, just feeling the full effect of the memory on his senses. He felt the beat of his heart under his hand, had the urge to touch his own bare skin…

Alec startled when he realized his phone was ringing. His hand automatically pulled away and he sat up, reaching for his phone. When he looked at the caller ID, it said Magnus Bane. Alec felt his face flush like Magnus caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to, like he could actually see him right now.

“Magnus,” said Alec, hoping his voice didn’t sound to breathy.

“How about now?”

“What?” Alec asked, suddenly confused.

“Your text. It said, ‘Can we meet?’ So now I’m asking if now would be a good time.”

“Now?” Alec asked stupidly.

“Yes. Unless you are otherwise occupied?”

“Uh, I’m in bed.”

There was a pause. It was only around five in the afternoon. “Well, I hope I’m not interrupting anything… You are not ill, are you?” Magnus asked.

“No, I was just thinking about you actually,” said Alec. When he realized how it sounded, he groaned internally. It sounded exactly how it was.

“ _Were you now_ …?” said Magnus in a completely different voice.

“I, uh…” Alec _couldn’t_ lie. In fact he didn’t want to lie to Magnus and say he wasn’t about to jerk off thinking of him.

“Do you want to come over to my place?”

“ _Yes_ ,” said Alec without hesitation. “I’ll be there in a hour.”

“I can’t wait,” said Magnus still in that breathy voice. He hung up.

\--

Alec walked into the loft with his heart beating like crazy. He was nervous and excited just like he had been before he walked up the isle and kissed Magnus. And he thought that’s what was about to happen. He shouldn’t feel nervous about kissing Magnus again, they’ve done it once in front of an audience, so now it should be less scary, right? Tell that to his heart that was about to jump out of his chest at the prospect of a repeat performance!

Magnus suddenly appeared from behind a door. He too looked nervous at seeing Alec.

“Alexander. I wasn’t sure you haven’t changed your mind halfway over.”

Alec felt his throat close up against all the emotions that came over him. So he answered the only way he felt he could; he walked up to Magnus and kissed him with everything he had in him.

It was just like last time. It was like every noise around them stopped, everything outside of the circle of their bodies just ceased to exist and all there remained was the meeting of their lips and tongues. He pushed Magnus up against his bedroom door and kissed him until they were both breathless and panting and clinging to each other like being apart was unthinkable. And this time Magnus clutched at Alec’s jacket and pulled him closer still and bit his lower lip and Alec’s body shook, he kissed back with all the intensity he could muster. He felt every touch of Magnus’ tongue against his and felt the heat of his body through all the clothes separating them. He wanted to get closer until there was nothing between them and Magnus seemed to understand because he pulled Alec into the room, walking backward until he fell on his bed, pulling Alec with him. Alec stopped the kissing just enough to register that he indeed was lying atop Magnus on the huge bed. Magnus looked up at him, his breathing heavy and his eyes full of some unnamed emotion.

“Do you… want to stop?” Magnus asked panting.

“I couldn’t… even if I wanted to,” Alec told him honestly. Even speaking seemed difficult. His body was in overdrive. He wanted… he wanted so much, but he also knew Magnus would stop if that was what Alec wished.

“We can take it as slow as you want to.”

“I know. But slow is not how I want it…”

“Tell me,” said Magnus. His eyes said _tell me and I’ll make it happen_.

“I want to touch you,” breathed Alec.

“You want me to -” Here Magnus made a swirly hand movement which Alec assumed was a gesture indicating he could make their clothes disappear in a second.

“No, I -” _Want to undress you piece by piece, bringing down the walls around you, want to see every reaction you make, want to see your body get uncovered and carve it into my memory –_

“ _Please_ , Alexander,” Magnus said in low, desperate voice like he was in pain, like every second was torture. And Alec got it, it hurt, every second and every inch that separated them.

Alec leaned down to kiss Magnus and hoped he understood that Alec felt the same way. He needed the closeness, but he also wanted to savor the moment. He sat up to unbutton Magnus’s silky blue shirt with shaking fingers. He shivered every time he touched and uncovered more bare skin. He couldn’t get enough of the sight of Magnus’ flawless skin, of the texture and heat of it, of the effect he seemed to be having on Magnus, the slight tremble he showed as Alec stroked his chest and flat, belly button-free stomach. And then it was Alec’s turn. Magnus made quick work of Alec’s jacket and tugged his black t-shirt over Alec’s head, then he rolled them over so Magnus was sitting in Alec’s lap. He leaned down and kissed down Alec’s chest, flicking his painted nails over Alec’s nipples, causing Alec to swear. He practically nuzzled Alec’s chest hair and nosed at his bellybutton until he arrived at Alec’s pants. His eyes found Alec’s, full of questions. Alec just nodded, of course he nodded, he was beside himself with want and conviction and amazement. He wanted Magnus so much, the thought of not being able to have him seemed unthinkable. He wanted everything Magnus would give him and wanted to give Magnus all of himself and more. He wanted Magnus to have not only his body, but his soul and mind.

With a bit of wiggling and tugging they got rid of the rest of their clothes. Instead of feeling embarrassed, Alec felt like he was being seen for the first time in his life. Yes, he felt vulnerable with his emotional guards down and his body on full display, but he also felt safe and unjudged. Magnus’ eyes held the utmost admiration and reverence when he looked down at Alec.

“You are beautiful, Alexander,” said Magnus. He was looking into Alec’s eyes when he said it, like it was not just Alec’s body he meant by it. And Alec, who had never been good at being praised, felt a strange lightness at the words. He wanted to say ‘thank you’ and ‘so are you’, but the words just wouldn’t come. Instead he pulled Magnus on top of him, kissed him deeply, hoping to convey his emotions through actions. After long minutes of just their lips and tongues moving against each other, Magnus pulled his mouth away to start to place a long line of kisses down Alec’s torso until he reached his intended target. Alec’s body went hot at the first touch of Magnus’ tongue against his dick. He suddenly felt lightheaded from the sensation, like his skin was too small for his body and Magnus’ tongue was connected to all of his nerve-endings. He was making all of these embarrassing sounds that Magnus seemed to take as encouragement to swallow him deeper and sweet-torture him further, by changing the rhythm or touching him differently. Alec could only settle in for the ride for his body was far ahead in the game than his brain. He just let himself feel everything and enjoy the loving attention Magnus was giving him. At one point Magnus reached behind him and curled his finger just the right way and Alec’s world exploded in white light. When he came to Magnus was still mouthing at him, licking off the remainder of his orgasm. Alec’s heart clenched. This man, this wonderful man gave Alec more than he deserved, from his unbreakable support to his unconditional trust, patience and open-mindedness. Alec stroked down Magnus’ jawline until the other man finally looked up at him.

“Come here,” Alec murmured, overcome with emotion.

Magnus lay down next to him, his eyes dancing with joy. Alec drew him in, hugging Magnus’ body close and kissing his lips, tasting himself on his tongue and revelling in the overall feeling of contentment. He felt Magnus’ lips curl up in a smile.

“You never cease to amaze me, Alec.”

“So you keep saying.”

“For someone who’s lived through and seen as much as I have it’s truly a miracle to meet someone like you.”

“Meaning?” asked Alec, only half listening. Most of his brain was still stuck on what happened in the last few minutes and his lips were pre-occupied with chasing the taste of himself on Magnus’ lips.

“Your enthusiasm and pure joy, it’s staggering,” Magnus told him between kisses.

“You were rather enthusiastic yourself just a minute ago.”

“You bring it out in me, Alexander. You make me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. Hope.”

Alec opened his eyes and waited until Magnus did the same. “Thank you. For everything.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Alec. I did it for not _entirely_ unselfish reasons.”

“ _Oh_ ,” said Alec, realizing something. He glanced down between their bodies. “You haven’t… Do you want me to…?”

“I’m fine, darling.” Magnus kissed Alec on the corner of his mouth. “This was about you, not me. I’m hoping we’ll have plenty of time to try other things together.”

“‘Fine’ is not good enough, Magnus. For me it was much more than just ‘fine’.”

“Oh, _do_ tell,” said Magnus in a teasing voice. “I’d love to hear it – this time in words - how it felt for you.”

“I’m serious, tell me what _you_ want.” Alec got up on his elbow watching Magnus for reactions. He hoped the edge in his tone was audible.

Magnus considered Alec, his eyes full of gentleness. “I’m good with whatever you want,” he said at last.

“That’s not what I’m asking and you know it.”

“But this is not _my_ first time, is it?”

“There are a lot of firsts in life.”

“Yes,” said Magnus with gravity. “And I’ve already had a few first with you, Alexander. I would hate to push you into something you are not reading for, something you would later regret.”

“I only said I wanted to hear you say what you wanted. And in turn I agree to honestly tell you if I’m ready and willing to do it.”

Magnus gave a slight nod, swallowing audibly. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. Opened them, looking Alec straight into the eyes. “I would love to have you inside of me.”

It was Alec’s turn to swallow. Not because the idea made him uncomfortable, but because the thought of it made his blood boil and his body go hot. He wanted it, _he wanted it so bad_.

“I’d like that… very much.”

“Really?” asked Magnus, still unconvinced.

“I’ve thought about it, quite a few times actually,” Alec elaborated, hoping his face wouldn’t burst into flames at the admission.

“ _Really_?” Now Magnus raised his eyes in question, looking delighted. “Was it by any change during one of those afternoon naps when you where in bed thinking of me like today?”

Alec groaned. “Fine. Make fun of me.”

Magnus leaned over and gave Alec a quick kiss. “I’m not making fun of you, darling. The thought of you touching yourself while you think of us excites me beyond belief. I wish you would understand what an effect you have on me. I’m crazy for you, from day one. My good friends Catarina and Tessa could attest to that.”

“You’re _crazy_ for me?”

Magnus laughed at Alec’s look of disbelief. “Yes. Believe it or not, regardless of my unusual dressing choices I don’t usually act like an insane person. But ever since I met you, I’ve made some _interesting_ lifestyle decisions.” Like showing up to break up a wedding ceremony.

Alec smiled a little. “So _now_ you’re telling me you’re just a normal, law-abiding citizen while all this time I was freaking out over the general insanity surrounding your person?”

“What can I say, Alexander, that I’m just insane wizard in the sack?”

In answer Alec just buried his face in Magnus’ neck and shook from laughter. Magnus meanwhile peppered the top of his head with kisses. This feeling he had around Alec - it was something new and extraordinary. A fierce feeling of wanting to protect his man from all evils and make laugh again like this, a wish to make him happy and content not just in the present, but always rose up in him. Quite honestly it was a scary feeling.

After a while, Alec’s laughter died down, he peered up at Magnus. “So, about that thing you said you wanted -”

“Only if you want it -”

“- we’ve already settled that I want it alright,” Alec interrupted.

“You’re feeling _up_ to it?” Magnus asked. For a few seconds Alec looked confused, then he rolled his eyes.

“I’m in my twenties and have a Stamina rune, I’m _always_ feeling up to it. How about you?”

“No need to get defensive, darling, I’m just teasing you. In fact I can _feel_ you.”

_So can I_ , thought Alec, just now registering their close proximity.

Magnus wiggled a bit until one of his hands emerged from below the sheets and before Alec could even blink, Magnus had a small bottle in his hand.

“What can I do?” asked Alec. Magnus considered him.

“How about you watch me ready myself? Or kiss me some? I find kissing helps in all situations.”

Alec did just that. He started with kissing Magnus on the mouth and the proceeded to kiss his cheek and his throat and under his ear – he really seemed to like that – and continued to kiss his chest all the while watching Magnus’ movements, listened to the little noises he made and watched a frown of concentration form on his forehead. All of it was driving Alec crazy. He wanted to do it himself, wanted to touch Magnus at that secret place and wanted to be the one to coerce those sounds out of Magnus. But they had time. And Magnus had been so patient with him and somehow Alec couldn’t prolong the wait to be inside Magnus just now. His own body was on the brink for some time, so he imagined Magnus’ must be craving some relief even more.

“I’m ready,” said Magnus, settling on his back. He touched Alec’s cheek lightly. “Are you?”

“Yes. I want you,” said Alec with conviction.

“Then have me, _please_.” Magnus reached for Alec and he went, lying over Magnus. He felt legs encircle his hips and then there was some slightly awkward arranging of body parts, but in the end he breached Magnus and it was the best feeling in the world, even better than killing a demon, why did Jace never tell him about this feeling… He felt the heat, he felt the tightness, he felt the closeness. Alec’s mind went to all the places, hoping he could stop his body from reaching the peak too soon.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked, when he noticed Magnus was far too quiet.

“I’m… overwhelmed,” said Magnus, sounding surprised at the realization. He did look dazed.

“How can I make you feel -? What can I do for you to -?”

“You’re doing fine, darling,” said Magnus softly.

“‘Fine’ is not good enough,” Alec huffed. The side of Magnus’ mouth curled up in a grin.

“Come kiss me, Alexander. Then you can start moving more.” Alec surged into the kiss. He felt Magnus’ arms settle on his shoulders and the angle change and then he just followed the calling of his body, moving deeper and faster and listening to Magnus’ reactions. He couldn’t quite get over the shock of being here and experiencing it. He understood what Magnus meant by overwhelmed, the intensity of their closeness took his breath away. That Magnus would be so trusting as to open up his body to Alec and let him call the shots and still look at him like he just hung the moon… Alec kept kissing Magnus, not only because he was allowed to, but because he couldn’t stop kissing him, the slick slide of their mouths was just as enjoyable as the other place their bodies were joined.

Magnus made a high startled noise in the back of his throat and then his eyes were suddenly like a cat’s with vertical pupils and the fingers gripping Alec’s shoulders made multi-colored sparks. Magnus’ body stilled and there was wetness between them, but Alec had no time to think too much about it, because his own orgasm hit him hard while he continued to hold onto Magnus. He felt all the places they were connected, like a live wire, heard Magnus’ slowing breath and the cooling sweat on their bodies and he was immensely grateful that he experienced this moment with this particular man.

“Am I too heavy for you?” Alec asked, trying and failing to stop nuzzling Magnus’ neck. He couldn’t get enough of Magnus, it was like his body wasn’t willing to just let go of him yet.

“You’re -”

“Don’t say ‘fine’.”

“You have just the right amount of weight for a Shadowhunter of your age and attractiveness that I happen to want to have on me right this very second.”

“Good save,” said Alec. He couldn’t stop a grin forming on his face.

“Mmhm.”

“Magnus?”

“Yes?”

“Is it… always like this?” Alec made a hand gesture meant to encompass the two of them and tried to imitate Magnus’ fingers throwing sparks.

“No, it isn’t. Fireworks are definitely _not_ the norm,” Magnus told him, sounding a bit surprised, but mostly just happy. “It’s safe to say you rocked my world and I hope you’ll keep rocking it for a long time.”

 


End file.
